Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
"To Ahmad Fazil Fuad" a blog post by my sister, Fardina Fuad
Smells, remember years ago when I was in the America's Next Top Model phase (weren't we all once?) and we were watching the judging session and you casually mentioned,
"I want to be just like him"
(referring to Nigel Barker)
Knowing me and knowing you, I probably responded with a snide remark about you being gay. Which I think you were - at that time.
However, after watching the PMS x NikeSportwear teaser, you are probably a big step closer to achieving your gay dreams. I am (genuinely) extremely proud of you for going out and taking the risk of pursuing something out of the ordinary, in Malaysia at least - and actually succeeding in it. You know us Fuads - always trying to be different.
I take back the times I was hesitant to say, "My brother is studying art in Australia and no, he is not on scholarship" when it was so easy to say "Faisal is doing engineering in Japan under the JPA scholarship". And for that - I'm sorry.
I guess we were raised in a (Asian/Malaysian/Kiasu/You don't get straight As you are gonna be begging on the streets/You HAVE to study accounting, economics, engineering, medics to have a descent life) community, and as much I didn't want to fall into that mentality, and as much I tried to live in denial - I am indeed one of 'those people', at least to a certain extent.
I have always admired your work, even in the days when your photoshop work was shit (compared to today lah) I really can say that I watched your work grew from the amateur-ish shit to an amazing photographer/artist you are now. I never got the chance to actually tell you how I felt about your work coz my ego is so damn big - but I really do.. like your work, smells. I used to browse your photo folders when you're not around (yes im freaky like that), and there are times I found inappropriate photographs but that's a whole different story.
Please mind my sudden emoness. Its just that I didn't do terribly well on my finals for math and bio today - so most definitely Abang and you will have to support ma and pa coz I will be begging on the streets.
anywho, the teaser was really awesome and daymn son, were you wearing a polyleather overcoat? and you lost weight, thats always something nice *looks at self and frowns*
and eh, do you get like staff discount or something from PMS ah. Get me something funky lah. I will not let you be more fashionable than me :(
I would upload a picture of us as it adds a nice sentiment to this post - but you know the connection in my room. So I'll end it with this closing statement:
I'm gonna hang myself right now.
Now how beautiful was that? Although the part that I did find disturbing is that I remember saying that and which episode we were watching. I was new to this at the time and I didn't even know there was such a profession so when I saw the 14 point type at the bottom left of his mug that said "Nigel Barker, noted Fashion Photographer" I was like WOAH. Which I then muttered those words to my sister.
"So how did you get into this? Making pictures, taking photos, producing images."
That to me is a big question. There is a Slumdog Millionaire answer to this but it can never be degraded to an A, B, C or a D. I can tell you maybe a hundred stories on how did I get here. Why is it a big deal? It is, if you knew where I came from, the people I mixed with, the Teachers that tried to brainwash me and the one's who didn't (i'm thankful for both). But I only have time to name you 4, it's a story of 4 people that I'm sure set everything in motion.
(I must warn you though, the stories are quite trivial)
I had two problems when I was a child. One was that I didn't smile very much and the other was that I liked to stare into blank space. My mum didn't approve of this of course, she always asked me to smile, when I'm doing my homework, when I'm playing with my toys or even when I'm eating lunch. Like any kid, one day I asked her "Why?". She just pulled out a photo album and showed it to me, then she said, "You see, people look better when they smile, YOU look better when you smile." I disagreed, haha so I went on (in secret) to open up magazines, the other photo albums and everything trying to prove my mum wrong, I thought about it in school, at home, when I hit puberty, when I had my first girlfriend, when I was on the plane to Melbourne, everywhere, staring blankly into empty space. I still do that.
Although my mum quit her job and raised me most of my life, I still think I resemble my dad even more. Not only because I look the most Malay out of my siblings, but we're just quiet people and we seem like unpleasent people, on the first look. Haha. The other thing is, was our love for photography. Like any other dad, he liked to buy big ass cameras and video cameras just for holiday pictures. I thought he was just well, being like any other dad. In my guestroom back home, there are like heaps of baby photos pasted all over the wall. Some professionally taken, the rest were taken by other members of my family. They were there since my family moved into the house, which was like.. 12 years ago? But not until 4 or 5 years ago that I came to know that none of those pictures were professionally taken. They were taken by my dad.
THESE were taken by my dad.
I scanned this pictures as part of a present for my brother's 21st birthday.
So my brother is the main star of these photos.
I didn't know creative cropping existed in the early 90's. Haha.
Yes, that is me without pants. I had a ninja turtle phase, who didn't?
Yes, my parents did this to us too.
Yes Henry, that is you.
Oh and did I mention? He's a Canon man.
My brother being older then me was promoted to assist my dad either taking photos or recording videos during family vacations. So he was the one snapping away while I was splashing around in my ring float. Until one day, he passed to me my dad's IXUS and said, "Now, it's your turn, fucker." Haha. So I did, snapping away. It wasn't long when I started snapping the trees, insects, the floor, the back of my brother's head, even other people. This did not go well, it never does if your CNY/Hari Raya album has only 5 pictures of your family. Later there was my brother's most overused quote at the time. "You're just gonna take a picture of that and go home and edit it right?" Can you feel the sarcasm? Haha.
You already heard the story. I can only tell you that I had to help her write her 60 word essay when she was in primary school. Look at her now. Captain of the National Cheerleading Squad and now aiming for the Ivy's.
Okay, back to work. Til next time.
at 1:40 PM