Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Munfye took me to this place for a drink on my very first night in Melbourne.

It was memorable.

Not because I thought the place's name was "In Control", even for the next few months but because he told me that Australia has the 4th cleanest tap water in the world.

Haha nola. It was the talk, the coffee and the fresh smell of Melbourne air, shared with a close friend.

This year was my turn to bring Bryan there, after a round of Go-Karting, which I got my ass whooped by everybody except the girls.



Sory Lina.

Anyways. I do have photos in my camera. Just that my damn cable's at my old place.
Until then, Zillieman out.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Coping. Coping.

Stesh, a long time ago.

Healing process is okay so far, and I picked photography as my elective next sem.
I shortlisted Advertising, Publication Design and Motion Graphics
but I decided to break one of my principles and formally learn photography.

I need the practice. Haven't had enough time to be going out and shoot these days.

But I will, this weekend. Stay tuned for pics.

Sunday, April 20, 2008


*d* - thanks. novel like life? is that a good thing?
yam - break ur face la bitch.
jade - buddyyyy. no worries, mate. im alright. when u wanna meet up la?
mello - simple, girl. cuz it sucked. u thinking of going there?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Thank you.


From the bottom of my heart.

To all, for the words of comfort whether it was in person, on the phone (from UK, AUS and other places), comments, tags, THANK YOU as it really helped me pick myself up and face what's happening to me. Yes, I can safely say that it is THE worst week of my life but all of you just made it a tad easier.

It's a time of mourning, yes, I do break down when I'm alone and before I go to sleep but no, I will not let this affect my work, my ethics, my art and my life anymore. Andrew would not be an excuse for my future failures and I am pretty damn sure that was what would want from me.

Andrew, I love you and your superhuman determination and faith will inspire my quest for success in whatever I do. Just knowing that you're up there smiling down on all of us brings me comfort and strength.

I will not cry now, I promise you Andrew, you can look for yourself, there isn't a single teardrop found on my keyboard. None, not like the last time.

I just know you too well, friend. You wouldn't want me (or any of us) to break like a bunch of pussies right?


Until we meet again.
Rest well, you fucking spartan.

This is my last tribute to you.
Bet you're already sick of this emo shite.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

18/12/1988 - 06/04/2008

I promise to update.

I just need time.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Analyze and Interpret.

analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and interpret
analyze and

I can't accept this I can't sleep.
Drew, i'm a mess. My life is turned upside down.

Just get on with it and be better.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

"Don't you try and stop me."

Doors open.
Your dad calls my name.
I stumbled in as fast as I could.
He said "Zil, he moved. Talk to him, please."

Holding back my tears, I whispered, to the tune of "Amazing Grace" that your parents were singing.

"Andrew, can you hear me? I know you can so just fucking listen. This is Zil, listen to me. Your boys are back. Are you listening? Your boys from Melbourne are back. 4000 miles. 8 and a half of the longest hours our lives. Your boys are back andrew, me, Tan and Chris are back. We didn't come all the way to see you like this so can you please just wake up? Can you hear me? Fight this Andrew. You know us RVN boys were never good at losing so why start now? Why should you start now? Fight it, Andrew please wake up. Shaun's coming back in 2 days. He can't sleep, and like the rest of us he's just not able to think of anything else. Ken's tying real hard but he's all tied down in Michigan with exams. Cruel timing, but his mum told me he's a mess. He loves you, I love you.. Your boys love you. Your family. So do the 40 people that are standing outside, waiting for you. So why don't you fucking wake up Andrew? Wake the fuck up!

We RVN boys never lose.

No matter what's the score.

So get up."

Singing stops.

And you moved you arm.

"Don't break down in front of his family." Chee told me, that morning.

Tell me, how the fuck?