Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Here's something unexpected..

Okay, i went for a haircut today.. Normally, i don't even remember the name or how my hairstylist looked like.. Or whether i did ask him/her to actually cut my hair, not just coming in, sitting down at one of their chairs waiting for somone to layan me because, to be honest.. I don't give a fuck and correct me if im wrong.. Most guys just don't give two fucks either.

However, the events that took place today @ Hairitage, Taman Megah will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Okay , maybe something similiar already happen to me la.. But mahai, it's a lot worst when it happens twice.

Let me begin with the first time.. It was @ Headlines, LimkokwingUCT. Stesh accompanied me to get my haircut in the hair design studio(Headlines la..). So okay la, 'he' cut my hair. But after that, he asked if i wanted to wash my hair and i agreed la (oklar, it was kinda embarassing wearing that towel-bandana thing on my head in front of Stesh) So he started talking la, when he was applying shampoo : (The fag's in pink)

"So, that your girlfriend?"
"Hmm.. No. No, she's not."
"Whyyy??? She's verryy cute laa.."
"Well, i kinda agree wit.."
"..somemore you also very handsome! So wasted la she not your girlfriend!"
"So nevermind la, your hair ah.. Very rough la the texture, maybe you should come over to my apartment @ Vista Millenium. I help you treat it."
"So you give me your number la k..?"
"(WHAT THE FUCK!?) Heh, no thanks."

So yea, that's scenario #1..

Here's #2..

Hairitage, Taman Megah. I was flipping through a magazine about cars. I just finished washing my hair, so the guy took a break and a lady took over. Oklar, he was on break.. But he was sitting right fucking next to me! I was halfway flipping through an article about the new 007 Aston Martin when they initiated a conversation in chinese.. When they stopped talking, the lady smiled, then she whispered..

"He say that u very hensem!"

Oh, did i mention that he winked at me when i was looking at 'em?

Oklar, maybe no big deal la, to you people but FYI.. I'm kind of a homophobe. NOTHING against them laa.. But i just find them.. A lil intimidating at times. Haha.


Since homosexuality's our main focus today, i'm gonna talk about male sex symbols. It is a fact that woman, find men like Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and Matthey Fox.. Sexy. But if you ask me, sexiness can be sometimes, a lil universal. Come on guys, maybe you're not turned on by the sight of them naked lar.. But you do think that Brad Pitt's kinda cool at times right?

In short, this is how it works, really :

Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp etc.
Woman - Sexy
Guys - Cool

Here's my in-depth explanation from both points of view on these three fellas.

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Brad Pitt

Oklar, hands down, he's got the looks, style and the fucking body to be a legendary sex symbol. No explanation needed here.

Oklar, you gotta admit, although there's much hype about his looks and him banging Angelina Jolie and stuff.. He's one heck of an actor. He single-handedly made Fight Club into a cult classic with his brilliant portayal of Tyler Durden. For example :

Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

And who can forget Mickey from Snatch :

: Well, do you want to do it?
: That depends.
: On what?
: On you boying this carahvan. Not the rouge one, the rose.
: It's not the same caravan.
: It's no' the same foight.
: It's twice the fucking size of the last one.
: Turkish, the foght is twice the size. And me ma still needs a caravan. I like to look after me ma. It's a fair deal. Take it.
: Mickey, you're lucky we aren't worm food after your last performance. Buying a tart's mobile palace is a little fucking rich.
[Realizes his mistake]
: I wasn't calling your mum a tart. I just meant...
: Save your breath for cooling your pies. Hey, look
[starts talking incoherently]
: Right. And she's terribly partial to the periwinkle blue. Have I made myself clear, lads?
: Yeah, that's perfectly clear, Mickey. Just give me one minute to confer with my colleague.
[to Tommy]
: Did you understand a single word of what he just said?

Next, we have..

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Johnny Depp

Boyish looks, smooth talker and he just has that eccentric-weird-ass-fuck thing going on.. Some find it sexy, for some reason but really.. Who gets women eh?

3 words.. Captain Jack Sparrow.

: How the blazes did you get off that island?
Jack Sparrow
: When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.

This line's a classic..
Jack Sparrow
: I know those canons. It's the Pearl.
Man in Jail
: The Black Pearl? I've heard stories. She's been preying on ships and settlements for near ten years. Never leaves any survivors.
Jack Sparrow
: No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?


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Matthew Fox

Dr.NiceGuyWhoCaresAboutEverybodyButHimself in Lost. Even my mum thinks he's hot.

Im kinda lazy to write la, but there was one scene in lost where his wife(who happens to be his patient, he succesfully fixed her broken back, which enabled her to walk again) gave a speech during his pre-wedding dinner saying something like "I thought all hope was lost, and you came, my prince.. And you fixed me. So thank you Jack, for saving me." SOMETHING like that lar. Then the following day, during his wedding, he was resciding his wedding vows.. It went SOMETHING like this la.. "Remember yesterday,(he was in tears when he was talking) when you said i fixed you. Honey, you got it all wrong.. You fixed me." Oh my god, i would had married him if he said that to me.. Haha. Oklar, maybe he doesn't appear to be cool to men in general, but i personally, think he's brilliant. So, this one's kinda irrelevant la. Haha.

Okthen, fuck it. Im off to do my assignments. Tata.

Zillieman. Out.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Randomizations (did i spell it right?)

"If I could dim the lights in the mall, and create a mood.. I will."

Some random stuff.

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I found the simulated textures of my 4 year old adidas bag kinda interesting.
However, she's the subject of this photo. Gawd, i sound so stalker-ish.

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The silhuoette of a very unique structure of house in Bukit Jelutong. Love the back-lighting

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There's a clash between the natural light from the evening sky and the lamps. I find it.. Kinda soothing.

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That Bukit Jelutong lamp.

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I find this photo mysterious, it's as if something's gonna jump out and kill ya.
It's a plastic bag lar, in case you're wondering.

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My toothbrush and toothpaste.. Ahah.

"Everything's going great, but still.. I don't know what to think. Is it that she's just
THE most wonderful human being i've ever met? Or, is IT mutual?
Help me, i just can't seem to think of anything else."

Monday, May 15, 2006

To KLCC and back.

Life Drawing Assignment : Get some photos of KLCC/KL Tower/Putrajaya for final project sketch. Has to show an appropriate level or perspective.

Being the 'smartest' human being in the world, the complex geometric structure of our Twin Towers of Terror was my choice. I didn't realise it was fuck-hard to draw until this morning. But it is.. Kinda pretty though.

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Delicious for 1 point perspective sketching but
the detailing is a fucking killer.

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Another shot.

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Ok, a lil bit random but it's pretty, innit?

Of course, i didn't go all the way to KL without anybody lar. I'm not THAT sad lar. There were 3 of us, it was Ruz, 'guess-who?' and I.

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'Guess-who?' and I.
Okayy.. Sorry Ruz, but i can't seem to find a photo
of you actually.. Smiling to the camera. Well, you were busy working la
while we were camwhoring.

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Camwhoring #2

Ahh. Out.

Zillieman, i know the odds are against you but if there's a chance, no matter how short the timespan, for you to be happy.. Take it. Or you'll regret it. Chances like this don't come by everyday, expecially.. Chances like this one.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Oh, and it get's so much harder.

This is the first time that 'it' happened to me against my will. I know it's going nowhere and it's better if nothing happens. But 'it''s in everything is see, it's in college, in my inbox, in my car, my cd's, the music i listen too. Everything. Everything seems to be pointing towards 'it'. However, i shall try my best to stay in denial. While it's still easy.

Ok zillie, snap back to reality.

So how was your day, people? Mine was fine. I had class at 11am and i woke at 20 minutes before it started. Hoho. I should get a medal for that, and you know what's worst? I had to pick up Stesh from Bkt Jelutong! Hohoho, i should get TWO medals.

Well, thank god she wasn't mad. I picked her up and we reached class like 45 minutes late. It was no biggie, apparantly our lecturer had asked the class to do like skits and stuff before we came. Haha. Thank god we were'nt there.

The rest of my day in college was pretty much normal. Had lunch @ MakanLah and stuff and headed back home.


I happened to cut myself with a cutter last night. It was kinda gruesome. I think it's like a half a centimeter incision with a 45 degree angle. It bleed for like 5 minutes. Scary stuff. I nearly nearly cried not because of the pain.. But just because of how fucking gruesome it was. Argh. Funny thing was.. I cut myself again the next day in college while showing ShaunAndChiali how it happened. It's kinda stupid, really.


Stesh offered me to stop by at her house when im sending her back so i could apply some alcohol on it. Being a gentleman, i accepted her offer.

When we were there, i sat at the kitchen while she went to find the alcohol solution. She seemed pretty excited, which i find kinda sadistic cuz she knew that although it would help to disinfect the wound, it would hurt. Like hell.

Well, turns out it wasn't that bad. My fucking ass lar. If it was just a little bit more painful. My mum who was all the way back in PJ could had heard me screaming. It was excruciating, really.

We sat down and just talked after that, really random stuff. From batik, to our assignments, to sleepovers, phone reminders and the fact that she got an offer letter from some Islamic University. Haha. So, i left lar, after an hour or two talking rubbish and stuff.

Oh you're doing it again, zillieman.

On a total different note, i happen to find that a lot of people are starting to blog about deep, personal stuff. Im feeling really inspired right now actually. I'm just scared that if i start writing, i won't be able to stop and i'll just fuck my assignments up. (i'm doing one right now, actually. just waiting for it to dry) So yea, next post. And if you even think about asking about the I.U day photos. NOT going to happen. It's just too many photos lar. See lar kay, maybe after my semester.

Zillieman, out.

Monday, May 08, 2006


I'm feeling a lil' inspired.

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Just some random stuff that i put together. No hidden metaphysical
meaning whatsoever.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Can't seem to think of a title for this one.

Just some random stuff i was wondering about, NOT about DJ's IU day, that'll come later..

One thing i realised about my last post, it's all in short sentences and i laugh a lot. Now, why is that? Is it because it was late and i was kinda groggy? Was i excited about something till i pretty much didn't know what i was talking about? And if u read it properly, i happen to change subjects between my sentences too damn fast. Hmm, it's just weird.

I'm swamped with work yet im still slacking. Planned to finish 3 sets of assignments for design studies today, i hardly touched one. Im also planning going to make the the product for Creative Studies tomorrow and i still have not shopped for the materials. And guess what? Im blogging. Argh. Semester's ending, World Cup's kicking off, it's so near i can smell it. But just by thinking of the amount of shite i have to do, i just can't seem to be excited about any of that. FuckMeFreddy.

Oh, and i just came back from a yumcha session with friends @ Lotus. Accumulated time spent with them was 4 hours. Why? One of us suggested to go for Bak Kut Teh @ Kepong (well, obviously i would just be sitting there with a Teh Ais, Why,you dare ask? It's because me having different words printed on my ic, that's why!) Then, 3 out of 4 lanes were closed at the highway. Which resulted into the mother of all jams, so we pounced at the first exit back to PJ we can find. Hence, why we went to Lotus, of all places. It's kinda sad. Oh, and you wanna know what makes it sadder? I was the one driving. =]

The worst feeling ever is to be in denial

Tambahan pula, the most overused line that im using against myself lately is.. "No matter how much you think you do, Zyl. You don't."

Selain itu, i stopped at Bkt Jelutong @ Shah Alam for a photography session after college on Friday. No, i wasn't alone.. Stesh was nice enough to keep me company. =] It was her housing area anyway. Oh and guess what im gonna do next? Haha. Photo time! There were a ton of photos la, but just settle with this for now.

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Stesh and the Enchanted Pokok.

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Not a very nicely taken photo. The flower's nice, but it
doesn't make up for the bad lighting and the high ISO.

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Not exactly in bkt jel. This was outside Limkokwing, Cyberjaya.

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This one too.
Difference is, it has my model for the day, haha. And the Gen2.

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Adidas Superstars on top of Jelutong Hill.

I found this whole Bkt Jelutong thingy refreshing, therapeutic and somewhat fun. I fount it so enjoyable till there's a part of me that wants to do it again, and again. Bottom line, I had a great time.

What's weird is, the Nikon D50 had nothing to do with it.

"No matter how much you think you do, Zyl. You don't"

Hmm, let me see, what else is there?

Nah, can't think of anything.

Friday, May 05, 2006

SS3 is a nice place if you take the time to check it out.

Guess what i just did? I just came back from fetching *pandaa all the way from tropicana to her house in Taman Seputeh. Massive jam. Massive. I'll show you the photo the next time she comes online. God knows why im sooo damn nice. But she was reaaally in need lar, she wasn't suppose to be out, her mum was already home, and she had some weird Burger King story behind it all. So yea, she IS great company, gossiped a little. Hahaha. Seriously *pandaa, rent a house in PJ or something. Haha. Well, if u were to keep ur promise, next time your whiteboy goes back to Manchester.. FAZIL No.13. On the new home kit. Thanks.

Bahhhah, only kidding.

AANnnnnyway, these are the results of my love affair with Jeff's Nikon D50.

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SS3 @ Sunset.

Oh and Hweeching.. This is the photo i got that blue thingy from.

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Was doing my very own photoshoot. Hahaha.



I'm not a fan of people posting up lyrics on their blog, but i can't help it.

Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will

Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echoes in every room
I would

That's what I'd do,
That's what I'd do
That's what I'd do
To get through to you

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will

It just hits me on sooo many levels.

So many levels.

God i love this song. It's an absolute must to listen to on the way to Cyberjaya.


Tuesday, May 02, 2006


If i was to ever marry a guy, it would be either Johnny Depp, because he's cool or Antonio Banderas because i find that 'flicking-a-rose-out-of-nowher' trick in Zorro really sexy.. Or Jeffrey Lim. Because i want to keep his Nikon D50 that he loaned me for SMKDJ's IU Night.
Here are some photos that i took with his camera :

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This guy fucks my mornings up. Every single day of my life.

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It's my desktop. Reaaally fast shutter speed with a low ISO. My room
was actually really bright when i took this.

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My favourite part of my room. My window blinds. I like the sense
of depth and perspective this photo brings.

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Okay, things aren't really clear in this one. It's the AC thingy
that you can find outside your house.

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7 second shutterspeed. Oklar, i photoshopped it a little.

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Ahh yes, two of the most important things in my life. My phone
and Tony, my computer.

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My gay brother.

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Something i did when i was bored with doing my assignments.
I really dig the shadow that the grills made. I find the shape interesting and
somehow.. Sexy. I don't know why.

Okay, enough with the camera shite. Next post will be about the photographer gig @ SMKDJ's Leo IU Day with Zohann. Till next time.. Ta's.

Monday, May 01, 2006

I shot him. Bullets and the fall killed him.

Vincent: Max, six billion people on the planet, you're getting bent out of shape cause of one fat guy.
Max: Well, who was he?
Vincent: What do you care? Have you ever heard of Rwanda?
Max: Yes, I know Rwanda.
Vincent: Well, tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody's killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eye, Max?
Max: What?
Vincent: Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Greenpeace, or something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit.
Max: Man, I don't know any Rwandans.
Vincent: You don't know the guy in the trunk, either.

That's how Vincent, played by Tom Cruise in Collateral, justified killing a person. Who was indeed a drug dealer. I love these kinda characters. Twisted, but with solid reasons to why they are. Another example is Detective Alonzo, a corrupt police officer, from Training Day, played by Denzel Washington :

Alonzo: [
on the phone talking to Smiley] Make sure that bathtub is clean, homey.
[Jake gets in car]
Alonzo: It behoves you not to dick around on this one. Justifiable homicide in the line of duty? What happened was...
Jake: What happened was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's different?
Alonzo: Open your eyes, son. Can't you see?
Jake: That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly.
Alonzo: Why is he my friend, because he knows my first name? Roger sold dope to kids. The world is a better place without him. This man was the biggest major violator in Los Angeles. This is the game. I'm playing his ass. That's my job. That's your job. I watched that cocksucker operate with impunity for over 10 years, and now I got him. The shit's chess, it ain't checkers. What, we all of a sudden gonna roll up in a black-and-white? Come on, man, take the money.
Jake: I told you, I'm *not* gonna take that money.
Alonzo: All right, burn it, barbecue it, fish-fry it, I don't give a fuck. But the boys'll feel better about it.
Jake: *Fuck* their feelings.
Alonzo: You're not making them feel like you're part of the team.
Jake: The team? You guys are fuckin' insane. All right, I'll go back to the Valley. I'll cut parking tickets. Why does it have to be this way?
Alonzo: I'm sorry I exposed you to it, but it is. It's ugly, but it's necessary... Sometimes you gotta have a little dirt on you for anybody to trust you.

I watched these two movies quite some time ago. I don't know why it came to my head all of a sudden. Maybe because they don't make movies like these anymore. Movies with interesting, twistedly ethical antagonist with a wounded, torn yet dynamic protagonist for company. So yea, if i was to reccomend you a movie. It would be Collateral and Training Day.